Adeline is an exchange student from
On the day Adeline visited Sharifah, she wore a jeans with a low-cut blouse. Sharifah invited Adeline into her house and introduced Adeline to her parents. When Adeline tried to shake hand with Sharifah’s father, he avoided and walked away to entertain other relatives. Adeline was shocked by his response and slowly withdrew her hand.
After that, Adeline had lunch with Sharifah’s family. There was a variety of delicious spicy dishes prepared by Sharifah’s mother. When Sharifah’s mother passed the bowl of curry to Adeline and asked her to try, Adeline quickly held out her left hand to take the bowl. Sharifah’s mother did not say anything but she looked angry.
After Adeline left, Sharifah’s parents told her that they thought Adeline was arrogant and impolite. Sharifah tried to explain to her parents about Adeline’s behavior. On the other hand, Adeline had asked Sharifah about her father’s response that day. She thought she was not welcomed by Sharifah’s father.
In my opinion, I think that the main problem of the conflict is the misunderstanding of the cultural values and norms between Adeline and Sharifah’s parents. Adeline may not realize that Malay women and men should not shake hands in the context of greetings. In addition, Adeline should always use her right hand to receive things. On the other hand, Sharifah’s parents may misunderstand that Adeline did not respect their cultures. They may not realize that Adeline was ignorant of their social norms. In order to prevent any further misunderstanding, Sharifah should tell Adeline more about their social norms and cultures. Furthermore, Sharifah should persuade her parents to invite Adeline to their house again to resolve the conflict.
Hi Sin Hui,
ReplyDeleteI feel that Adeline, being an Australian, might not have an opportunity to interact with Muslims before. This explains her ignorance on the cultural practices of Muslims and thus led her to unwittingly violating many of the cultural taboos. As a Westerner she might be less conservative and see no wrong in exchanging a hand shake with the opposite gender.
This situation highlights the importance of being aware of the cultural practices of the locals when in a foreign country. I strongly believe that it is a resiquite to read up and understand the culture of a country and its people before visiting a country. If Adeline had read up briefly on the taboos of Muslims such misunderstandings and ill feelings can be entirely avoided.
Sharifah could also inform her friend beforehand on certain important taboos that must not be violated when visiting a Muslim family; instead of taking it for granted that Adeline is aware of the taboos. I hope it was a learning experience for both Sharifah and Adeline and that their friendship grew stronger after that incident.
Valerie
Hi, Valerie.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments!
I do agree with you that it was a learning experience for both Sharifah and Adeline. I guess we can only learn when we realize we did something wrong. Although sometimes conflict and misunderstanding may upset the parties involved, I think we should look at it from the positive side and take it as an experience for us to learn.
Recently something happens between my friends, though I may have a mixed feeling about it, I truly hope that it will be a valuable experience for them to learn something from it.
I think Sharifah should have warned her friend about her parents expectations although I admit this may make her feel embarrassed. alternatively, she should have prepared her parents for an unusual type of visitor. The friend should also have given the visit a bit more thought. In other words, all parties should have done some homework before the event and been more tolerant towards each other.
ReplyDeleteMrs Richardson